Boundaries Are Your Best Friend
There is very good reason why most psychologists and counselling psychotherapists bang on about boundaries, boundaries and more boundaries- and that is because they are often the answers to many of the struggles we face in all realms of our lives. Whether it be issues with our partner, friendships, job, children, in laws, business and or our own bodies and minds, developing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for maintaining mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Boundaries are the limits that define us as individuals, including our likes and dislikes. This includes acceptable and unacceptable ways for people to interact with us. They are a line in the sand/ safety fence around us. Boundaries are a form of self-care and self-preservation that support a balanced, healthy life and foster positive interactions with others.
Types of boundaries:
Social: my activities
Physical: my body
Spiritual: my beliefs
Emotional: my feelings
Intellectual: my thoughts
Why are boundaries important?
1. They Protect our Mental Health: Boundaries help prevent burnout and emotional exhaustion by ensuring we don’t overextend ourselves or become overwhelmed by others' needs and demands. This includes prevention from going against our own needs, wants and values which tires, upsets and frustrates us.
2. Maintain our Self-Respect: Setting boundaries allows us to assert our needs and values, which fosters self-respect and self-worth. They help us stand up for ourselves and communicate what we deem as acceptable ways to treat us and the parameters of our relationships.
3. Enhance our Relationships: Healthy boundaries create clear expectations and reduce misunderstandings. They promote respect and balance in relationships, allowing for healthier and more satisfying interactions. In other words, everyone knows where they stand.
4. Promote Personal Growth: Boundaries enable us to focus on our personal goals and growth without being sidetracked, restricted or weighed down by external pressures or unhealthy dynamics.
5. Prevent Exploitation: Boundaries can protect us from being taken advantage of or manipulated by others. They establish limits that safeguard our energy, time, and resources.
6. Encourage Responsibility: By setting boundaries, we can encourage others to take responsibility for their actions and avoid assuming undue responsibility for others' problems.
We often avoid setting boundaries due to guilt, fear of rejection and/or fear of confrontation. The first step in the process is to become aware of our less than strong boundaries which can be times when we feel disrespected and /or over stepped. How do we feel when this happens and what issues follow? Next, list down your limits for each category of boundaries. If you need help maintain your boundaries, get in touch!